It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
