Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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