Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
