listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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