OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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