i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
