listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize