Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He? As in you personified your dick?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
