I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
