I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
