Apparently you make a good broom.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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