First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
