also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
