it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just googled if crying burns calories
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize