this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
