So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
