Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
