dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
