If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
