So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
third nipple confirmed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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