I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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