i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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