I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize