she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
