I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
