Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
