I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
