No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
