I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
