okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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