...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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