if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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