I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
