he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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