What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
