i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
