The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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