My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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