I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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