Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she smelled like a LAN party
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
