I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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