somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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