he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
