Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Found the puke drawer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize