New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
