I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
