Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize