He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
