walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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