it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize