so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
