What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
