Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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