piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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