There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
