so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
