you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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