I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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