Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
