Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
